WASHINGTON, DC — Recent results in the GOP primary and caucus elections are now beginning to raise eyebrows and cause suspicions within the Ron Paul campaign. Supporters of the Republican Texas Congressman have been crying foul since the Iowa caucuses, claiming that the “establishment” doesn’t want to…

Georgia Man Named Puppies ‘Rascal’ and ‘Flatts’ To Justify Beating Them

MACON, Ga. — A Georgia man was arrested early Monday morning at his farmhouse for alleged animal abuse. Hank Chenoweth, 43, was arrested yesterday after a neighbor reportedly told police that Chenoweth named his new puppies Rascal and Flatts so that he could beat them with no…

One Night Stand Turns Ugly, Chopped Into Firewood

BILOXI, Ms.  — One ugly night stand was recently chopped into firewood after being discovered in the corner of a garage. George Davison, a local resident of Biloxi, was cleaning out his garage over the weekend when he stumbled upon one night stand from his former marriage.…

Confessions Of A Mother: I Secretly Think My Baby Is Ugly

When I had my first baby last year, the doctor laid him in my arms and I instantly started to weep. Fortunately my husband and all of the nurses in the room assumed that they were tears of joy, but inside I was mortified. My little Jeffrey…

English Majors Read Hemingway, Form Militia At Coffee Shop

BERKELEY, Ca. — Two English Majors have formed a militia at a small coffee shop after having recently studied Ernest Hemingway, and his life, in class. Aside from his writing, Hemingway was well known for starting a small village militia outside of Paris during WWII in an…

Angelina Jolie’s Right Leg Asked To Marine Ball By Foot Soldier

LOS ANGELES, Ca. — Angelina Jolie’s right leg is treading headlines once again since its breakout performance last Sunday at the…

Snooki Learned Of Her Pregnancy After Feeling Baby Fist Pump

A SHORE, Nj. — Pregnancy rumors surrounding Jersey Shore star Snooki have been confirmed after she claims to have felt the…

Davy Jones Dies, Search For His Locker Begins

PALM BEACH, Fl. — Monkees singer Davy Jones died Wednesday morning of an apparent heart attack at the age of 66,…

Kate Gosselin Buys Gerbil To Help With Loneliness

In a recent interview with Dr. Drew, Kate Gosselin revealed to the world that she is extremely “lonely.” But, it appears…

S&P Downgrades Tyra Banks From Super Model To Average Model

NEW YORK, Ny. — Credit rating agency Standard & Poor’s says it has downgraded Tyra Banks’s model rating from super to…